What if I told you that in six weeks you could experience more sexual freedom than you ever thought possible?
Does this idea scare you?
It should.
Because we all know that Great Power comes with Great Responsibility.
Sexual desire is one of the most powerful human desires.
And a lot of us have learned that when it comes to this desire, we have no ability to respond in a way that reflect the Christian identity and call to love.
This is a problem!
As I wrote in the post, Who really owns your sexual desire?, most Christian men feel like they do not have control over their sexual desire.
Porn is probably the best indicator of your ability to control your sexual desire in ways that feel aligned with your integrity as a man of God.
Remember when you were a child and had no control over you body?
You had to learn how to use this amazing gift called a human body in order to move, to eat, to speak…
But when puberty came, the people around us did not know how to teach us to take responsibility for the most powerful energy that came surging into our bodies.
If you were raised in the church, you learned to fear it, to fight with it, or even to run away from sexual desire.
Someone probably said you needed to “flee youthful lusts” in order to be a good Christian, and that meant getting rid of your sinful desire for sex.
My Story
I was one of the most successful young adults that I knew at running away from sexual sin – at least on the outside…
- I was a master at averting my eyes
- I avoided any kind of touch that turned me on
- I refused to look around at the beach
- I even joined accountability groups to help me stop looking at porn
But on the inside I was at war with myself.
Sex occupied more time and energy than anything else in my life.
I wanted it and I hated that I wanted it – because I knew it was sinful, and because I felt powerless to do any thing about it.
I dreaded the day when my resolve would finally crack and my body would drive me to do something I might regret for the rest of my life.
Would it be pleasure? Would it be violence? I didn’t know how the pressure building up inside would finally explode, but I knew I couldn’t hold on to it forever.
All around me Christian men were caving in, messing up – or getting married to someone they lusted after just so it would be legal.
I didn’t want to be that last guy, but I didn’t know of any other way…
I had no response-ability and was not even aware that I could learn how to “control my own body with holiness and honor” as Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:4
Knowledge is Power
Most people wouldn’t hand a child a loaded gun, or put a blindfolded person behind the wheel of a car…
But nature chose to give humanity a gift regardless of the consequences!
Now each one of us must choose how to respond:
- by running away,
- by fighting with, or
- by learning to understand the purpose and potential of this gift.
It took me a long time to realize that my inability to control my sexual desire did not mean I was evil, it meant that I was ignorant.
My inability to control my sexual desire did not mean I was evil, it meant I was ignorant.
-Dr Kevin Jenson
Sun Tzu teaches that one of the most important parts of winning a war is to “know your enemy.”
Until I had the courage to face my sexual desire and learn to understand it, I would never be able to win the war.
My Discovery
I tried all the books, the conferences, the accountability groups, the internet filters, even counseling with elders in my church…
and nothing could make my sexual desire go away.
Until one day, I experienced a profound moment of encounter with God that changed my perspective forever.
He said, “what if sex was actually my idea?”
What if sex is not sinful but sacred?
What if sexual desire is a gift from God!?!
What if the enemy was nothing more than my own ignorance about how to use the gift with integrity, truth, and love?
Christian & Sex Positive
This idea was so different from everything I had learned from Christian tradition that I fought with it for years.
My personal journey of prayer, Bible study, philosophy, and practice is outlined in my book Christian & Sex Positive – which I will link to here.
As I went through the process of transformation, I came to understand the gift of sex, and especially of sexual desire.
I learned that the only reason it harmed me was because I had never learned how it was designed to help me.
I was a slave to my own fear and ignorance...like everyone else I knew.
I never learned how it was designed to help me because all of my Christian friends were too scared to talk about it.
The people who did talk about sex (e.g. locker room conversations) made clear they had no idea how it could be sacred and not sinful.
There was so much shame surrounding our ignorance, so much fear over our potential to misuse the gift and so much incapacity to live with integrity.
To this day, almost every man I have talked with on this subject has never felt safe to tell another person about their experience of sex.
The Key to Freedom
After going through my own personal journey of transformation, I knew had a gift;
I had a key to sexual freedom…but I didn’t know how to share it with anyone.
Maybe I could just enjoy this on my own and tell a few friends what I had discovered…
But one day I was driving across a foggy bridge in the middle of Maine when I looked down on a small city. I was deep in prayer asking “what would Jesus do” if He was here?
I knew the answer immediately, that He would share the key I had been given to help set the people free.
Sex is sacred not sinful, but as long as we continue to live in fear, shame, and ignorance, it will continue to be the number one enemy of our integrity as Christian men.
Unless we make the choice to learn what it takes to live with freedom, we will continue to lose the battle with an “enemy” we don’t understand.
Lust will continue to define our experience of sex, unless we discover the secret of transforming sexual desire into the deepest expressions of love.
It is Possible
And it is much easier than you think.
If you want to know more about this key to freedom…
If you are ready to take response-ability for this part of your life…
If you want to experience sex as sacred, not sinful…
I want to help!
Drop your email into the form below, or send me a message on facebook / instagram
Let’s begin your journey to freedom