Addressing the Collective Trauma of Changing Sexual Ethics

A New Christian Sexual Ethic is not an easy idea for many people to embrace. Sure, those who are already feeling the chaos of deconstruction, the rejection of normative Christianity, and the unhealthy consequences of purity culture, my book might feel like a healing breeze 🙂

On the other hand, Christians who are comfortable with their sexual paradigms and practices don’t necessarily like to be called up or challenged to consider that the Bible might say something different than they think… In fact, when my life and teaching calls their assumptions into question, it may be very uncomfortable, disturbing, or even traumatic to let go of unhealthy beliefs – especially when they are the foundation for ethical choices.

Yesterday, I had the chance to ask Dr Kim Wagner a question about this collective trauma of changing sexual ethics. I was part of her presentation at Princeton Theological Seminary on how to use preaching as a way to address collective trauma [instead of adding to it]. She talked about several things that I think are useful to those of us challenging the sacred cows of modern Christianity and I was curious what she would say about inducing trauma as a necessary part of transformation!

The Role of Preaching in Addressing Collective Trauma

First, trauma is not just physical. It can happen during something called “narrative fracturing,” which happens when the way you explained the world (or your faith) doesn’t work anymore.

Second, preaching can help to address this trauma by:

• Offering language
• Acknowledging and blessing brokenness
• Grieving what is no more.
• Connecting the tension of brokenness and hope in Christian stories to the tension of our world.

Third, it is important for teachers to hold our own experience as well as the experience of the community.

This last point was especially potent for me as I continue to wrestle with my private journey of growth and freedom and my public work as a scholar and writer. 

The Role of Personal Experience in Addressing Collective Trauma

Part of my calling is to introduce a disruption in unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior around sexuality in the church. However, if I don’t share carefully (and I haven’t always done this), the disruption can feel traumatic as it deconstructs very personal life choices.

Introducing this kind of trauma is like resetting a bone that broke and healed in the wrong place. It’s painful but necessary. The sexual ethics that dominate cultural discourse in the United States and specifically in evangelical Christianity are a reflection of unhealed trauma, broken relationships, violence, and fear. They feel safe, even if they are unhealthy, ambiguous, or harmful.

My job as doctor of sorts is to provide a safe place, trust, support, and resources to make this healing as smooth and simple as possible. In education, this looks like scaffolding – and I haven’t provided a lot of this outside of my book so far. 

Personal Growth and Public Ministry

Most of what I’ve shared online over the past year has been for my own growth and pushing past my fears and limitations of openness, vulnerability, integrity, and truth.

The next step for me, now, is to shift my teaching toward sharing the vision, resources, and support that others might need to go through a similar process. It will still be painful, scary, and difficult…which is where the power of my testimony and of teaching comes into play 🙂

I look forward to re-discovering the magic together ✨